Slama Era Begins in Cincinnati

[mikereds]

In Anthony Slama, the Cincinnati Reds are thrilled to acquire possibly the most talented new scouting director ever to avail himself to the PBA.  Many critics and onlookers feel that the Reds overpaid for Slama's services (in excess of 8.5 million annually over 5 years), but Reds GM Mike Neugebauer disagrees with this view, and convinced owner Robert Castellini to sign off on the unusually expensive staffing choice.

"Looking at the great sustained success of programs in the PBA such as Baltimore, Texas, San Francisco and mostly recently, Milwaukee, we felt the acquisition of a top-tier Scouting Director is a pivotal piece of the puzzle for an organization.  This is especially paramount for our Reds in the NL Central when you consider Milwaukee's dominant 2027 year and championship title.  We acknowledge a lot of their success was due to great scouting by Theo Esptein and excellent use of their modest financial resources.  Due to our own smaller budget and market size, we need to maximize what we are doing with our young affordable talent and focus on bringing more of it onboard.  We hope to have one of the strongest farms in the PBA by the time Slama reaches the end of his first 5-year contract.  With Mr. Slama at only age 43, we look to have him on board for far, far longer than those first 5 years.  His youth, passion and keen foresight was part of our rationale in making him an extremely competitive contract offer."

Slama pulled no punches on proclaiming his extraordinary abilities during the introductory press conference.  "When I take my son to kindergarten, all I can think about is that blonde-haired boy I sometimes see dropped off by another parent.  I know for a fact, with the right coaching, that young man will develop a wicked slider and his move to first base will pick off many a would-be base-stealer."

"In my spare time, I've been working on my own personal baseball version of 'Cerebro', the device used by Professor Charles Xavier and the X-Men.  When finished, my special helmet and computer system will pinpoint the names and locations of the best young baseball talent across the globe.  We will seek out the best of the greatest to add via the amateur draft and to the Reds International Complex."

Neugebauer doubled down on Slama's confidence.  "He greatly outclassed any other scouting directors we spoke with, and it wasn't even close.  Anthony is the master chef.   Without his talents, any hope we have of establishing a great restaurant of sorts - a great franchise - simply is not possible.  Apart from the 2026 Draft and our surprise playoff contention in 2026, today is probably the finest moment I've experienced since joining the Reds.  This is a long-term endeavor, but I hope before long we will start to make Milwaukee sweat uncomfortably in the NL Central."